If You Don't Love Yourself, You Will Never Be Pro-Black.

If You Don't Love Yourself, You Will Never Be Pro-Black.

Alrighty, I’m gonna cut the bullshit.


I’ve been sitting at this computer for a solid forty five minutes trying to string words together so I could sound a certain way and convey my message correctly. After years of struggling with certain aspects of my racial identity (black & African American af) due to me trying to either be the opposite of the stereotype (yikes) or be black af (y’know the person who drinks white tears for breakfast), I had enough. So I guess what I’m trying to say is...


I get it. 


There’s this fine line we are always trying to walk whether we realize it or not.


It’s that line of not just being pro-black, but appearing and coming off as pro-black so people know what’s up, while also embracing your personal self outwardly. It's the black equivalent of trying to prove yourself when someone asks "Oh you like this band? Name three of their albums."


It’s wanting to be you and just exist, while also wanting to make a social and political point.


It’s wanting to live for yourself, but also feeling the need to be there for everyone else in the black community constantly.


It’s exhausting.


We’re losing ourselves in this battle for representation, social justice, etc., and it shouldn’t be that way.


We shouldn’t feel like we’re always trying to make a point with our wardrobe or our hair.


We shouldn’t feel like loving certain things makes us less proud to be black.


We shouldn’t feel like we have to compromise certain parts of ourselves to appease this idea of what it means to be black.


It’s exhausting, and it’s time we stop that.


You can be pro-black, and be your damn self as you do it. They aren’t mutually exclusive.


If you’re losing yourself in the battle to stand up for us collectively, you aren’t doing it correctly.


Learn to love yourself first.


Learn to embrace your personal intersections.


Learn to love the different quirks that make you, you.


Learn to take care of yourself.


Learn to embrace self love and practice self care daily.


As long as you’re hating parts of who you are, regardless of whether or not it’s your skin, hair, personality type, hobbies or dreams, you will never be completely pro-black.


Accept yourself. All of yourself. You deserve that.


P.S. If you need help doing that or you don’t know where to start I’m offering free confidential calls to talk about your confidence, self acceptance, and how you can actually embrace every individual intersection that comes with being black. If you’re interested, click here.

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