"Where do you want me to go?"
you must make up your mind
you can't ask me to s t a y
but beg for me to l e a v e
at the same time.
"I Shouldn't Feel This Way"
if we are so close
why is it I still feel so alone
even when you are right
"Don't let the tulle skirt fool you."
some days i'm the petal.
some days i'm the thorn.
both days I am still the flower.
"Please stop fronting."
the person I know you could be
is at war with the person you are
and i'm scared that if i don't fight for you
sometimes i don't know if i want to escape my tower
feel the grass under my feet
knowing the unknown can be
h o m e
or stay safe.
stay in my tower so the unknown can never ever get to me.
"Liar liar pants for hire"
you had never lied to me
so why was it i thought you were
when you showed you didn't care?
"nike makes it sound easy."
"just do it. use that emotional distress and pain as fuel to your creative fire. this is in your tool belt now. utilize it."
what if i told you
this feeling doesn't
i can't just get up
and use this energy
to c r e a t e
because there was no energy
"well, this is uncomfortable."
a wet sock.
my depression is like a wet sock.
not soaking wet.
no, my depression is like
one small circular area of space in the small of your foot,
that you don't feel when you're not walking.
maybe for a second you forget it's there.
you feel dry,
s e c u r e.
maybe it's gone.
But then you walk, and you go
"Hide and Seek"
To be so transparent
"Find Someone Else to be Your Muse."
never again will I light my limbs on fire
to light up your night time sky
never again will I shed my clothes
to keep you warm
never again will I strip myself
to make you feel more whole.
"You Made Me This Way"
The worst villains
are the ones the hero creates
Because unlike the dragon who can only spit flames
Or the warlock who curses because he knows no other way
They know better.
But they don’t care.
How far must you have pushed them
For them to be this way?
My left cheek
A clump of hair
And a kidney
Both knee caps
My bad shoulder too
How much of myself
Must I continually give to you?
A NONFICTION/SELF HELP BOOK
"Can I be honest? I'm really good at being bad. Not in the usual colloquial sense of I'm good at being a bad girl and drinking and smoking or whatever it is masse media has made you think of. No, I mean I fail and I fail a lot. I take these impulsive leaps that have a tendency to blow up in my face every damn time. I've trusted the wrong people, have gone down several wrong career paths, and forgot to take care of my mental health in the process. Yeah, I suck at a lot of things, but that's also pretty awesome. Every wrong path-- the boy I thought I loved, the city I thought would be my home, the person I should have never trusted, got me to where I am now and that's a pretty magical place. So yeah, I'm successfully unsuccessful. Sometimes you have to make a mess to make something beautiful.
Photo courtesy of Joe Siciliano